sorry for my absence. i have an actual reason though.

first of all, friday. mail guy finally worked again. he stopped by with the usual pile of letters for Hannah and absolutely nothing for me. i nudged Hannah and suddenly she remembered there was something on t.v. she wanted to watch in the commons.

mail guy whipped it out and summoning up his best ron jeremy asked me if i'd missed his cock. i stifled my laughter and told him to shut up and fuck me like a real man. oooh, that got his goat. he took it like i was insulting his manhood and he proceeded to practically rape me. he called me all sorts of filthy names, he slapped me around, he stuck two fingers into my ass. it was amazing.

this time he forgot himself and blew his load inside me. you should have seen the look on his face when he realized it. the mixture of post-coitus pleasure and unmitigated horror was hilarious. he started panicking and let slip that his wife would kill him if he got me pregnant.

now i know that in my past i've been a real whore - a complete piece of shit - but my being in rehab is about more than my attempted suicide (to me at least). i decided when i got here that i was going to break this "itch" as well as my depression. the depression is already gone and now all that's left is the itch. i forgot myself once before with mail guy and never even thought he might be married.

i told him to get out. his horror turned to anger real fucking quick with that one. he flew off the handle and started screaming at me. within seconds, three orderlies unlocked the door and rushed in. there i am, naked from the waist down - mail guy's cum running out of me and down my leg. and there's mail guy, pants around his ankle, his cock doing that windsock-without-a-breeze routine they all get when they're ready for a nap.

needless to say he was fired right then and there. i, in turn, had all of my privileges taken away. no internet, no in-room television, no commons access for the weekend. nothing.

so there you go - that's where i went.

as for saturday and sunday, Hannah was nice enough to hang around the room and talk with me most of the time and she even snuck Roth in once so we could hang out a little. we kissed finally and he told me he wasn't married (word travels fast around here apparently) and that aside from a son from his failed marriage he was unattached.

when he lived in california, he got married early (21) and divorced quick (16 months later). you'd think this was the stereotypical young failed marrige bullshit but, no. it gets fucked up real quick like.

Roth being a male, loves porno. and so whenever his wife left the house for a little while he was cruising the internet jacking it to this or that. then one day while using the free site Ask Jolene he comes across a Cum On Her Face scene with a hot readhead taking some 40 odd cumshots right in the kisser... and it's his wife.

he google's her stage name and boom! another dozen scenes pop up everywhere. there's one on Wrong Side of Town, there's one on Exploited Teens, there's one on Bangboat. it turns out that her trips to her mothers on the weekends only lasted long enough for her to drop off the kid and drive down to the Valley to get fucked on camera. you can imagine the fall-out from something like that.

they seperated, he got the kid, she disappeared. he moved to florida (his parents live in naples), got a job with his dad (roofing) and started a band or two. somewhere along the line he switched from alcohol to coke and thus he made his way here.

i told him most of my story too and aside from occasional wide-eyed disbelief, he took it all pretty well. maybe there's something to keep in fort myers after all...

okay, so dr favero wants more story so HERE:

after i stole Kash's money i hopped on a southbound bus without reading the marquee. i only ended up in Tampa because that was the end of the line. seeing as one place is just as good as another i stayed. i found a shitty little apartment and i bought some clothes and a newspaper.

the first job i got was as a babysitter in my apartment complex. i was talking to one of my neighbors about my job-finding woes and she offered to let me babysit her kids. she was desperate and so was willing to overlook my inexperience (bear in mind this was before every other news story was about a kid dying at the hands of a negligent babysitter/nanny).

her kids were incredibly easy to get long with. there were three of them 15, 10 & 7 and most of the time they were running around the neighborhood with their friends anyway, so my job was pretty easy. then, like most of my lifestories, my pussy fucked it all up.

her husband, it turned out, was incredibly hot. he was a construction foreman and had the body that only years of hard labor could produce. i only met him a handful of times in the first few weeks but everytime i did i could feel his eyes on me... and i liked it.

one night when i thought was supposed to be babysitting for them i showed up to find the kids all staying the night at friends houses. the husband was home and after telling me all that, asked what i was going to do with the night off. i had no plans and told him as much. he asked if i'd be interested in a making some money.

after my time with Kash you'd have thought that would be a red flag but i'm fucking stupid apparently. i accepted without asking what the job was like some moronic porno whore.

he took me to his friends house where he and a bunch of his buddies were playing poker. i was supposed to be the entertainment. they offered me two hundred dollars each for being the "party favor." internally i argued with myself about it until i finally managed to justify it by thinking that since it was voluntary it was alright.

i spent that night sucking and fucking, getting facefucked and dp'd. and as the night went on they got meaner and meaner. the more they drank, the worse the names they called me. in the end they were spitting on me and slapping me around, one of them actually punching me in the face... and i fucking loved it.

on the ride home, as i was sucking the husband's cock again, i decided i was going back to college and the $800 in my pocket told me how i'd be able to afford it.